An Interview with Stephanie to Celebrate Teacher Appreciation Week
Teacher Appreciation Week is here. To celebrate wonderful Montessori guides (teachers) out there, I’ve decided to interview one. Stephanie is an AMI-trained guide for age groups 0-3 and 3-6. She is also a mom to Max and one of the most insightful educators you could talk to. You’re here for a real treat today. So buckle up, make your coffee and enjoy this reading that will help you to understand the real essence of Montessori in just a few minutes. In this interview, Stephanie shares a lot of valuable insights. A few of my favorite ones are:
“The Montessori Method is about being present and objective, patient and compassionate.”
“..be ready to be present and active in what you are doing with your child. Setting up work for your child to do on their own is great if that is the interest of the child, but if the child is seeking your connection, no amount of work or toys is going to replace you.”
“..practice self-care. Do not put yourself last on the list.”
Read the whole interview here:
1. Hi Stephanie, can you please introduce yourself?
Hello Everyone. My name is Stephanie Heichel. I’m a Montessori guide for the 0-3 age range and have trained to provide care to families and their children from the prenatal period – around age 6. I’m also a mother to one amazing little human being. Born and raised in California, I have a deep appreciation for the natural wonders of the coastal mountains and the diverse groups of people who inhabit this area. It’s a pleasure to share my journey with you all today.
2. What brought you on your Montessori journey? How did you decide to become a Montessori guide (teacher)?
I have always felt passionate about helping people feel safe and capable, and during my college years, I discovered that I had a yearning to translate this into a teaching career. To broaden my teaching experiences, I looked into work in the special education community and found work as a guide for special needs children. This work really transformed my thinking about what education should look like for both individual and group settings. I realized quickly that a holistic approach to education and care is not just important but is the critical link to making all people feel valued, reflected, safe and secure in themselves and their environments.
This was the beginning of my discovery of what it means to prepare the environment for learning, and how such an environment stimulates learning and promotes optimal health, development, and well-being. I began reading all I could about different methodologies for offering this kind of care, care that responds to both the nature of people and the nurture each needs for optimal achievement; and this was when I came across Dr. Montessori’s writings in The Absorbent Mind. I began stepping back more and doing more observing of what each person was telling me through their behavior and their interests. What I found was the key to connecting that I had felt missing in my work. Then following my undergraduate work, I formally delved into the AMI training. At the time, I was working for an amazing bilingual Montessori program in Santa Clara, and my employer insisted I take the training locally as it was being offered in San Francisco. I am so glad I made the decision to formally train with AMI, for in our training we learn about and practice the observational skills that allow us to undergo a personal transformation that transforms our thinking from reactive to proactive and helps us to prepare ourselves for the work of guiding by following the child/human being.
3. What do you enjoy most about being a Montessori guide and working with toddlers?
The age group I currently work with undergoes so many amazing milestones during their time with us, which is generally between 18 months – 36 months. The children go from non-walking to walking. Some transition from non-verbal to verbal, and most undergo a language explosion in the form of both productive vocabulary and grammar. They become aware of their personal identities and begin to recognize how this plays into their role in their family and different out of home communities, and they begin to develop the skills they need to perform many self-care routines with independence from the adults in their life, and recognize their own ability and capability to do for themselves across many areas of development in both self-care and care for their spaces and for others. It is an incredibly busy and unique moment in their lives and to be a part of this journey is a gift and an honor.
4. Now, would you please tell us what is the biggest challenge about this work?
The biggest challenge about this work is the personal transformation itself. I remember when my little one turned two and the pacifier was still a pretty prevalent item of use in our home. All of my training, all of the information I had read told me that this item should have been done away with long ago, and yet struggling to find my own peace within the realities of the pandemic, I convinced myself that taking it away from my little one would create some sort of unintentional trauma in addition to what we were already all going through. When we finally did away with it, I was able to recognize that the struggle to let go of the pacifier was not with my child but with me. I knew it at some level the whole time, but my fear was greater than my knowledge. I think this is the key. Knowing yourself and being able to overcome the elements we let get away within ourselves. For me, it has always been anxiety that keeps me from pushing ahead.
The emotions we deal with as a result of our history, or the biases we have built up, that we ourselves may not recognize because we have never had to or have chosen not to reflect on it until now, can be very limiting when we are unable or unwilling to challenge them. The places where we ourselves face a challenge because of our own internal order, daily routines, beliefs, and struggles that have defined our way of life. Nobody does this work perfectly, even when fully trained. We all have moments where we wish we could go back and do things differently, or we are harsh with ourselves for our own feelings, behaviors, or lack of knowledge in the moment. But I think that is why it is so important that we meet this challenge of transforming ourselves by recognizing that it is lifelong work, and that each day is a new opportunity to make great change and to learn something new about ourselves that will help us grow. And ultimately, it is this growth that will allow us to connect with the people we serve and care for and give us the power to change the educational landscape in a way that will benefit everyone.
It’s Teacher Appreciation Week. Celebrate and appreciate teachers for their hard work and dedication.
5. Can you please share with us how you apply Montessori principles in your life and your own home? Also, can you talk a little about how Montessori at home differs from Montessori education in schools?
A Montessori approach to life is an approach that is observation-based. It is one that melds well with mindfulness. In my own life, taking a moment each day in the morning just for me, whether it’s a cup of coffee or a shower or getting to appreciate a sunrise before heading off to work gives me a boost of energy that helps me to enter my workday with less stress and to feel like I have prepared myself mentally to combat any negatives in the day by giving myself a moment of uninterrupted peace to think back to. Having a consistent routine also helps me stay on track and having a checklist on the whiteboard by my fridge allows me to fit in anything that might be in addition to the normal routine without forgetting it.
All of these things play into my own internal need for order, which in Montessori we speak of as a human tendency. Children are attuned to order and routine because it is how they tell time before they can count, it is the markers in their day that let them know what to expect, what is coming next, and how far we have to go before we get to what we are hoping for are often based around these guideposts in their day. So just like us, if something gets skipped, missed or changes, it can lead to big feelings. I try to remember this as we get ready for our days and as I greet children in the classroom as well. Being able to step back and simply observe, not to react, but to save space where we see someone experiencing big feelings can remind us of the power that order has in our lives.
This is where the Montessori approach of observing first and acknowledging what we see through an objective lens really benefits us all. We all want to be seen and heard for what we are feeling, but our feelings are not who we are as people, they are how we are reacting to the stimulus we are experiencing in each moment of our lives, and feelings are ever-changing as well as fleeting. When we use this approach with others it becomes easier to have patience and empathy for ourselves, and this creates a cycle that allows us to simply exist in the present. As I say this, I want to recognize that I am speaking from a place of privilege to be able to wake up where I live, to live and work in this part of the world, and to have the time or ability to accomplish this work on myself. While the transformation I have gone through has not been by any means easy, I cannot speak for anyone but myself and want to remind everyone that allowing yourself to be an objective listener and to save space for people by giving them what is necessary and sufficient in the moment where you are meeting them can do wonders for forming connection and creating relationships based on trust and mutual respect.
I honestly feel the main difference between the work we do in school and the work that is done at home through a Montessori lens really comes down to context. How many people are we serving and what are the specific needs of each individual within the group as well as the group itself. This approach doesn’t change in the home, but depending on the needs of each person, we make changes to the environment to support them. With toddlers, all of the work we do begins as a collaboration and we pull back where we see them engaged so as not to disrupt their efforts or push our will upon them. When we see focus and concentration, we protect it and we nurture it. We model what we want to see; rather than correcting, we lead by example for children will model their behavior after what they experience both towards them and around them. We cook together, we clean together, we offer our empathy to big feelings and demonstrate how to offer care. We model consent and encourage it. When the brain begins to transform from that of natural impulse driving our actions to the making of decisions through an awareness of what one wants to do and is able to do, it is then that we observe their work for places of potential challenge, what we call points of interest, and allow the children the gift of time to practice and master each skill they are interested in and driven to accomplish. We encourage friendliness with error because it is through continual practice that we overcome the obstacles that challenged us. We acknowledge rather than praise. We ask children to tell us what they think and orient our conversation around what they tell us, rather than directing the conversation towards what we think they need to know.
The ultimate goal of the work we do with children, of guiding them, is to make them active participants who will seek information out and eventually come to understand that it is through the process of discovery, including trial and error, that people learn all about their world and master themselves within it.
6. What would you like parents to know about applying Montessori at home? What single most important advice would you give them?
The Montessori Method is about being present and objective, patient and compassionate. Dr. Montessori recognized that we all share basic traits that make us human, and she defined them. We are all working towards these same goals, even if the paths we travel on don’t always illustrate that fact. In applying the Montessori method at home, the best tool you have at your disposal is to be ready to be present and active in what you are doing with your child. Setting up work for your child to do on their own is great if that is the interest of the child, but if the child is seeking your connection, no amount of work or toys is going to replace you. Dr. Montessori recognized that it is the connection we have with our environment that makes us feel safe and motivates us to pursue our interests, this is why she advocated for prepared environments and prepared adults, and an educational system that prioritized holistic care because she observed connection between us as the key to establishing long-lasting peace.
In regards to advice, practice self-care. Do not put yourself last on the list. Let them see you acknowledging when you feel overwhelmed, hungry, tired, or needing connection and taking the steps to meet your own needs. Not only will it help them internalize this healthy process of preparing the self, but it will also help you to be an active and ready participant when they need you to be present in what they are doing and will make your shared experiences more rewarding.
7. Is there anything else you would like to share with us?
Go into everything you do with toddlers with no expectation of perfection, but just an appreciation of their process. Acknowledge their efforts and interests where you see them. You’ll be amazed at how much they have to offer towards simple things like sorting laundry, putting away groceries, feeding pets, and helping cook a meal. In fact, there is nothing quite like cooking together and encouraging your child to help with food prep and other household chores to start building connection. What’s more, at this age, they love helping alongside you, and when you allow them to engage in the work alongside you, you are helping them build a muscle memory for perseverance and persistence that will come back to them when they’re teenagers and faced with big challenges.
Thank you so much, Stephanie. It was an honor to have you here. Thank you for all your hard work, dedication, compassion, and hope you give to children in your care as well as to their families. Happy Teacher Appreciation Week!