3 Tips to Cultivate Gratitude in Young Kids
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Researchers associate gratitude with greater happiness and improved well-being. Do you want to foster gratitude in your kids because you know it's good for them? Is gratitude one of your family values? Or do you want to avoid raising entitled kids? Whatever your reason is, start with yourself first. Model gratitude for your children and include them in practice.
Here are a few ways to cultivate gratitude together with your kids.
1. SHARE YOUR APPRECIATiON
A few weeks ago, Emma got a red pre-loved tricycle from our next-door neighbors. She jumped on the tricycle and hasn’t gotten off ever since. The tricycle became one of the few toys she wants to use every day. The other day, I mentioned to Emma how kind our neighbors were to give her the tricycle. “Will we do something nice for them, too?” I asked. “Yes,” she responded. I suggested we could make chocolate chip cookies for them. She agreed. We got to work and made a batch of chocolate chip cookies from scratch. We filled a Tupperware box with the cookies and headed over to the neighbors. Before we got there, I prepped her by letting her know what was going to happen. At that point, I got nervous about the whole idea. Will she let go of the container full of cookies? Will she refuse, start crying or throw a full-blown tantrum? It was too late to turn back. As we talked to our surprised neighbors and thanked them for the tricycle, I asked Emma to hand them the cookies. She did. It was the smoothest transfer of cookies I’ve ever seen.
Emma is delivering homemade cookies to the neighbors.
Making cookies for neighbors is one of many ways to show appreciation to people in your life. Another option is to write and deliver a thank you note. An older child can write a thank you note by himself. Note that he shouldn't be forced to do that. If he doesn't want to write it, be the one doing that. If your child doesn't know how to write yet, have him deliver the note.
Who else can you show your appreciation to? Brainstorm a few options with your kid. How about your mailman who delivers your mail and packages? Or the neighbors who brighten up the neighborhood with seasonal decorations? Practice finding reasons to be grateful together with your child.
2. Create a family tradition around gratitude
Your to-do list is most likely longer than a CVS receipt. If you want to make sure that practicing gratitude won’t get forgotten, create a family tradition. That way, daily gratitude will become a habit rather than another task that you need to check off your list.
When Emma became more verbal, we organically started a new tradition. During her bedtime routine, we talk about our day. We ask her about her day and listen to what she has to say. Often, she speaks about the things that upset her during the day. For example, a doctor's visit or the time she fell on the floor and hurt herself. Naturally, children remember these situations that make a great impact on them. We talk about these things and help her to process them. If she doesn't mention anything positive about the day, we will do that for her. For example: "Do you remember the cat you petted outside? He was really friendly, wasn't he?." We point out the situation or things she enjoyed that day, and she usually joins in telling us more about it. By doing this, you’re helping your child notice the positive things we often take for granted.
If you have an older child, you can cultivate this tradition during family dinners. Each member of the family can name 3 things they are grateful for today. Some parents swear by this tradition. They point out how it shifted their child’s perception and help them to look on the bright side.
3. Read books
To reinforce the concept of gratitude with young children, read books about gratitude. Our favorite book on this topic is My Amazing Day by Karin Fisher-Golton. Read the review of the book here:
What does one day in the life of a toddler girl look like? This book shows you exactly that. You’ll rediscover the ordinary things that make a child’s day extraordinary. For example, the sound of singing birds in the morning. Or the smell of different spices. The outdoor play among trees and the goodnight cuddles before going to bed. This book is an excellent reminder of all the seemingly “small” things we can be grateful for at the end of each day.
How do you practice gratitude with your children? Please share in the comments.